


Do Imagine (But Only If You Want)

by clumsy_fallen_angel



Series: (Do)n't Imagine [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Some angst, cas is sad okay, human!Cas, moppy!dean, mostly in sam's pov, sammy decides to do something about it, some drama, the ending is in cas' pov though, this is after the djinn kidnapping obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-16 06:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3477674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clumsy_fallen_angel/pseuds/clumsy_fallen_angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam can’t take it anymore. Castiel is definitely depressed and his idiot of an older brother can’t see why. So Sam does what he always does. He takes it upon himself to pull these two out of their stalemate. Sammy spills all. And Cas well… you’ll just have to read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do Imagine (But Only If You Want)

**Author's Note:**

> the obvious sequel people asked for. This is the last one. so go ahead and like it ;)  
> but I do apologize for any weirdness to this. I was reading a lot of drarry fanfics (because I tend to procrastinate by reading slash fics so I hope there isn't any OOC)

_Cas is depressed_ , Sam thought as he watched the ex-angel mechanically scooped his breakfast, oatmeal, into his mouth not really tasting it. There’s a little chime that went off and Cas put his spoon down to retrieve his cell phone from his jean’s front pocket. After a slight hesitation Castiel texted, whom probably was Claire, a good morning. Both Winchester boys have noticed this latest trend of Castiel only ever really texting Claire Novak and any random angel in some need of advice but that had become infrequent the more time passed.

After finishing his breakfast, Castiel excused himself and left the two brothers alone to talk. Sam watched Cas leave and only after he turned the corner did Sam turned his head back to his own healthy breakfast.

“What’s wrong with Cas?”

“You honestly don’t know?” Sam voiced as he raised one brow at his older brother. Dean gave him _that_ look.

“If I knew Sammy, I wouldn’t be asking.” Dean’s gruff tone went flat. “Did Cas say anything to you? It isn’t because of one of those douchebag angels we met last month is it?”

_Amazing,_ Sam thought sarcastically. Could his brother really be _that_ blind? That he hadn’t noticed Cas’ behavior stretching for months back since the Djinn Incident? Sam shook his head taking a bite out of his food. He really didn’t want to talk about Castiel with his brother. If he couldn’t figure it out on his own that was his problem. Dean huffed at Sam’s silence and finished his breakfast and went to the kitchen to wash his plate.

Cas came back ten minutes later with newspapers and some writing over it indicating a monster. Dean read over the article and the notes on the side before patting Cas’ shoulder and smiling. “Good job, you found us a case.”

“Actually,” Cas, with his low gravelly voice, said, “I was hoping I could go alone for this one. It seemed simple enough. No need for you or Sam to go.” Before Dean could open his mouth to protest Cas pulled up another newspaper, “I also found another case, in Iowa, looks like a vampire nest. Might need the Winchester touch?”

Sam briefly smiled at Castiel’s joke. Monsters seem to know about them somehow but his face clouded in concern over his safety. Dean still didn’t think the ex-angel was ready for a solo hunt and wanted to voice it when Castiel turned his blue eyes on him. Sam had watched this happen many times before and always had to clear his throat to get them back on track but this time he just turned around and left the room. _Let those two work it out on their own this time._

Dean showed up in the small library where Sam had holed up twenty minutes later and just by the air around his older brother, Sam knew he hadn’t won that argument. The younger Winchester saw no reason to ask which hunt they were going on. _Vamp nest in Iowa it is._

* * *

 

Halfway into the drive to Iowa they pulled up to a gas-n-sip and Sam went inside the convenient store to stock up on food while he tried to relax. Dean sometimes drove like a maniac but even Sam had his limits. He was going to take his brother’s phone if he kept checking it every five minutes for a new message, or better yet, he was driving the impala. Relaxing his shoulders, Sam went around the store picking up some treats Dean would like and some for himself. Eyeing a piece of pie Sam, at the last moment, picked it up hoping that it would calm his older brother.

Exiting the shop with two disposable cups of coffee, Dean reached for his cup smirking at his taller younger brother. “Aww Sammy, always so thoughtful.”

“Shut up Dean,” Sam teased back. Taking off the plastic bag from his wrist, Sam handed Dean his cherry pie. “I didn’t forget the pie this time.”

Dean grinned like a little kid as he popped open the container and with the plastic fork took a bite out of the pie. Sam quirked his brow at the noise Dean made. “Dean, it’s just pie.”

“No Sammy, pie is life,” Dean said over a mouthful of more pie. Sam just shook his head as he got inside the passenger’s seat waiting for Dean to finish his pie and get inside. When Dean slid in and turned the impala on he shifted it to drive and pulled out.

On the road again, Dean behaved well enough to leave his phone alone long enough not to endanger their lives until they crossed state lines. When Dean got the call that Cas had made it fine he relaxed in his seat. Sam turned his head to view the road trying to give his brother some privacy and make sure Dean didn’t kill them. After the call ended Sam turned around. “So Cas?”

“Cas made it fine,” Dean answered. “Tomorrow he’s going to scoop around.”

“That’s good,” Sam commented. “You seem calm now… Did you get him to turn on his GPS?”

“What, no.” Dean replied too quickly. Sam raised his brow at his brother silently telling him what he thought of that lie. “I’m just worried.”

Nodding he narrowed his eyes at his older brother’s shifty look. “You didn’t send a hunter in that direction did you? _…Dean!"_

“Garth isn’t going to interfere just make sure Cas’ alright.” Dean argued back giving Sam that look to drop the issue. Pressing his lips together Sam did just that. His only thought that calmed him down was that at least Cas wasn’t alone and had back-up even if he didn’t know it. Sam also sent a silent prayer that Garth could keep himself together to actually help Castiel.

* * *

 

The vamp nest wasn’t too difficult to dispatch and the only real damage they got was a dislocated shoulder and a few stitches. Castiel hadn’t gotten back from his hunt when the Winchesters got back to the bunker. Dean left Sam to carry his stuff in as he walked away to most likely call Garth.

Dean returned five minutes later frustrated. Sam wanted to ask what was wrong but knew he needed to give Dean some space. Opening his laptop he looked around for maybe a potential case. Sure they might not take it but it didn’t hurt to know what the monsters were up to. Finding nothing out of the ordinary, he pulled out a game to play on his laptop until his older brother decided to talk.

“Did Garth say anything?” Sam asked two hours later finally willing to break the silence because he was tired of waiting. There was a flurry of worry flapping around his stomach at what could’ve happened to Castiel.

“Cas is fine. Just taking a little longer to find the monster. Apparently it’s gone into hiding.” Dean grumbled out. Sam noticed his brother’s expression well and knew what he was saying underneath. Cas decided he didn’t want their help and that worried the younger Winchester. Castiel wasn’t his usual self and Sam always worried he might try something drastic.

“Do you know when he might be back?” Sam asked instead.

Dean huffed slouching in his seat. “After he visits Claire. She seems to be nearby and he wants to go see that she’s alright.” Sam hummed realizing his brother’s grumpy mood. He wanted Cas back and didn’t like his detours even if they made perfect sense. Sam got back in his laptop and tried to find a hunt nearby to use as a distraction for Dean.

Four days later and a cabin-fever older brother, Sam answered his phone while Dean made an excuse of needing to go out and drink. “Hello?”

“Is this Sam Winchester?” that instantly perked his interest as Sam recognized that voice.

“Claire? How did you get my number?”

She sighed over the phone. “I got your number from Castiel’s phone. I-I need your help.”

Sam got up shrugging his jacket on. “What is it? Is Cas in trouble?” Why didn’t he pay more attention to the ex-angel? Maybe something happened and he could’ve prevented it if he had noticed the signs. Anything to tip him off that Cas might do something.

“He hasn’t come back since this morning and I tried calling him only to realize he left his phone charging on the night stand. I’m worried.” Claire whispered her voice wavering as fear started creeping up. There was something she had noticed that made her contact him. “Castiel been acting different since he dropped by.”

“It’s okay, Claire. Just tell me where you’re at and I’ll try to be there as quickly as I can.” Sam answered reassuring her in his calm voice. There was some noises in her background as he grabbed his duffle bag of clothes. Already packed for cases like this when he needed to go quickly. Before he could so much go up the stairs to the bunker’s exit her voice came back.

“Never mind. He just walked in.” was all Claire Novak whispered before hanging up. Sam stopped, rooted to his spot trying to assimilate what just happened. Cas had gone missing. Leaving his phone behind again. And he just got back after more than fifteen hours. Part of him relaxed that nothing had happened again like with the djinn but another worried if something _had_ happened and Claire was in danger.

Calling Cas’ phone, Sam waited for someone to pick up. He sighed in relief when he heard the ex-angel’s voice respond. Walking back to the table with his duffle in his hands dropping it on the table.

“Hello Sam. Is everything alright over there?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Act casual, “Did you ever catch the monster you were hunting.”

“Of course,” Cas answered pragmatic. “It was not difficult to kill after I found where it was located. Was that all you called for?”

“No, I also was wondering how Claire was doing.”

Cas nodded even though there was no way Sam could see. He knew. “She’s quite well. Did you want to speak with her?” Sam had told him yes. He just needed to make sure she was fine.

“Sam?”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Did he explain why he was gone all day?” Sam asked right away when she was finally on the line.

“Yeah, I’m fine, stop worrying. And …” she whispered the rest under her breath. “He said he needed to walk around. Don’t worry, I did all the test. It’s him. But I’ve noticed he seems… sad.”

Even she noticed the change more than Dean had. Sam had to placid her and asked that she watch out for any other things Castiel did and to report back to him. He was still worried of the ex-angel and it was nice that he had an ally on his side. This had gone on long enough and Sam was getting to the point where he couldn’t keep Castiel’s secret anymore.

* * *

 

Sam tried. He really, really tried to keep his mouth shut after Castiel came back. For a day or two he looked better, had more of an appetite and was a little more cheerful. Even Dean noticed. But after two days he went back to his old self and even closed himself off in his room all day ignoring either Winchester’s attempt to coerce him out.

After the isolation the next day he came out looking tired and worse for wear but at least he was out. Sam was really starting to worry for the ex-angel’s health. He was human after all and if he kept this up he was going to get sick. Ushering him to take a shower while he prepared lunch, Dean had a concentrated look while making food.

“Sam, it’s just not normal.” Dean voiced over sizzling meat patties. “Cas has been acting strange. He isn’t his normal self and it’s not fine. He’s not eating. He’s keeping himself locked in his room. If you have any idea why you better say something.”

Sam tapped his index finger over the counter avoiding his brother’s intense stare before he turned it back to the food. And the thing was, Sam _was_ worried and he was warring in his mind what he should do. It seemed clear Cas wasn’t getting any better and his idiot brother wasn’t getting _why_ Cas was acting this way. Just last night he went out to the bar to pick a random chick up.

Cas walked in wearing different clothes, so that was a small relief. His blue eyes skated a quick look at Dean where a flash of anguish passed before he looked away his eyes going back to a neutral setting. When he finally meet Sam’s hazel look, he had the embarrassing realization that Sam saw his small indiscretion but knew the younger Winchester wouldn’t voice it. What the ex-angel didn’t know was that Sam was on the cusp of saying something but pressed his lips shut.

After an awkward lunch and equally strain afternoon Sam…snapped. He had had enough and he’ll be damned again if he didn’t say anything and let this fester further. He waited until after dinner so they were all sitting around the table when he cleared his throat. Both men turned their attention to Sam Winchester. One in slight confused intrigue, the other with focus attention.

“I can’t do this anymore. This is killing me,” Sam started and that instantly lit his brother’s green eyes on alert scanning him to see what pain Sam was suffering. before Dean could interrupt and jump to the wrong conclusion, Sam continued on. “I know why Cas has been acting like this.”

If it wasn’t already quiet after speaking the sudden silence after Sam spoke made the hairs on his arm stand up. Cas sat stock-still in his chair keeping his face neutral while Dean raised his brows sitting forward. “And you didn’t think to mention this earlier when I asked?”

Sam gave him bitchface #2. “I’m surprise you hadn’t noticed it sooner Dean.”

Dean frowned crossing his arms over his chest. “Fine, you smartass. When has this been happening since I haven’t noticed it then? A week, two? A month?”

“Four.” Sam replied evenly casting a quick look at the quiet ex-angel. Cas had his normal blank look he used to wear back when they first meet years ago. Dean voiced four _weeks?_ “Months. _Four months._ ”

Dean looked confused for a second before the lightbulb went on. “Since the Djinn?” before looking over the stoic ex-angel. “Cas, has this been going on since then?”

Hard blue eyes looked at Sam before turning their intensity to the older Winchester. “No,” Castiel said sternly sending a quick warning look at Sam who ignored it.

“I’m sorry Cas but I can’t keep this quiet anymore—.”

“—This is not yours to speak of Sam Winchester.” Castiel’s voice boomed with an almost angelic way of his. The look of smiting just at the end of the ex-angel’s fingertips even though he didn’t have any angel mojo to complete said task. Even though he’s going to get Cas’ wrath Sam marched on.

“I never told you what I saw in Cas’ dream world.” Dean looked surprise by the sudden stillness of Cas when Sam delivered that line. You could cut the tension in the room with the demon knife. There was one hopeless look Castiel sent Sam urging him not to say anymore but Sam _had_ to do this. “In his djinn world he was together with you.”

Dean sat in stun silence most likely trying to wrap his mind over what Sam just said. It felt like someone was holding their breath waiting for what Dean’s reaction was going to be. No one expected Cas to be the one to break it.

The loud slam of an open palm hitting the table started both Winchesters who turned their attention to a flushed ex-angel who looked ready to smite. “That is inaccurate. Please refract that information from your mind Dean.”

“You know it’s not a lie Cas. I was there. I saw everything even when—.” The scraping of the chair and hitting the floor interrupted Sam’s speech.

“—That is not true.” Castiel nearly growled leaning over the table trying to look menacing but failing. Cas had dark circles under his eyes and a two day old beard growing. His clothes were even large over his thin frame which stated how much weight he’d recently lost. Sam, as much as it pained him, was doing Castiel a favor.

“He didn’t want to go.” Sam’s voice rang over Cas as the dark-haired man sucked in a sharp breath. Dean was still looking stunned looking back and forth at both of them trying to understand his brother and best friend. “Cas wanted to stay. He told me to apologized to you for wanting to stay.”

“ _Sam,_ ” Cas hissed his body so tense he looked ready to snap in half. Dean eyes snapped from his brother’s to his best friend a look of hurt crossing.

“Is that true? Did you want to stay there?” Dean asked his voice sounding raw with a lump forming in his throat that he tried to swallow back. “Cas… Cas answer the question. Did you?”

Pressing his lips together while he tried to control himself Castiel curled his hands on the table before pushing off and standing up straight still looking at Sam with a look of betrayal. Squaring his shoulders back Castiel turned his attention from the younger Winchester to the older one. Sam knew those stares well having dealt with them for many years. Sam always wondered what his brother and the angel could possibly be communicating when they stared at each other for minutes. Cas exhaled lowering his shoulders.

“No, it’s not true.” He replied his body tensing up. “It’s all a lie.”

“Cas, you know I’m not—.”

“— _It is_.” He punctuated. His hands clenching into tight fists. Turning his attention to Dean and noticing that Cas wasn’t convincing him. The ex-angel did the only thing he felt was in his power to do. He stormed off and the sound of his door slamming could be heard less than a minute later.

Dean sat still trying to process everything. “What just happened?”

Sam sighed plopping back down on his seat not realizing when he stood up. Sighing, Sam rest his head on his hands as he dragged his fingers through his long hair. “Cas is in love with you Dean. I thought I made it perfectly clear for you.”

Cas joined them a minute later duffle bags in hand and what looked like his car’s keys dangling off his left hand. “I’d be taking my leave now. Goodbye Sam Winchester. Dean.” The door toward the entrance of the bunker rang in the silence after Castiel’s abrupt departure.

Sam looked from the door Cas just exited for a minute before turning his glaze to his brother who still sat there not moving. _It couldn’t be that big of a surprise for Dean._ Clearing his throat to get Dean’s attention Sam arched on of his brow at him. ‘Well aren’t you going to do something?’ he tried to convey without any words. Dean just shook his head still dazed before picking up his dinner plate and Cas’ before taking them to the kitchen.

Sam pressed his lips together as he picked his plate up too and followed his brother into the kitchen. Dean was in there washing, acting like nothing was wrong. Like Castiel hadn’t just walked out of the bunker and that Sam had revealed important information. “Dean…?”

“Put your plate down on the counter. I’ll get to it soon.”

“Are we not going to talk about it?” Sam asked as he set his dishes down leaning on the counter. Dean just kept his focus on washing the dishes only breaking his concentration to pull Sam’s dishes into the sink.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

Sam changed tactics noticing his brother’s reluctant to talk about Cas’ djinn incident. “You’re not worried about Cas’ safety out there?”

“He’s old enough to take care of himself just fine Sammy.” Dean replied, “Older than both of us.”

“That didn’t stop you from worrying about him when he went hunting,” Sam replied cheekily as he re-crossed his arms. Dean clenched his jaw tight for a moment before relaxing it.

“It’s his decision if he wanted to go. I’m not forcing him to stay,” Dean growled narrowing his eyes at his younger brother telling him to back off on the issue. Sam wanted to push back but knew it was prudent and just pushed himself off the counter to let Dean cool off. Sam tried to relax and hoped that Castiel would come back in a day or two and this could all blow over. Or maybe it’ll only take that long before Dean went out to look for him.

* * *

 

It was getting on Sam’s last nerve. He was keyed up and willing to lose his shit if Dean. Didn’t. Stop. That. Right. NOW. Dean was sitting in his seat sighing for the umpteen time and acting all mopey and it was driving Sam insane. _IF HE WAS MISSING CAS SO MUCH WHY DOESN’T HE JUST **DO** SOMETHING ABOUT IT?_

Dean shifted in his seat looking at his phone with what he thought was a concealed dejected look and Sam was _this_ close to hitting his brother for his stubbornness. The younger Winchester was bouncing his leg trying to dispel some of his agitation with a productive outlet. _Where was a monster to gank when you needed it?_ It had also gotten quiet on the monster front. Even the demons seemed to be calm. Most likely planning something if Crowley was still ruling them.

Sam was hoping Crowley _was_ planning something so he could use it as an excuse. He really needed Dean to stop that. Trying to ignore his brother’s glum mood Sam concentrated on his laptop to find _something._ Anything really at this point even if it turned into a bust. When another ten minutes of nothing came up Sam shut his laptop and stood up having enough of Dean and wandering off to his room taking his laptop too. Last time he left it behind, Dean had managed to slow his computer down with his porn sites.

By the end of the day Sam was reaching the end of his rope with his brother still staring at his phone waiting for it to ring. It had been two weeks. _Two fucking weeks!_ Since Cas left and Dean had been like this. All mopey and haunting the halls of the bunker like Sam stole the last slice of pie in the world. It was driving Sam insane. If Dean would just _admit_ he missed Cas that would be _an improvement._ But no, he kept telling his brother that he was fine. Perfectly okay. _Yeah right._

“Dean,” Sam said through clench teeth. “I can’t stand this.”

“What are you talking about Sammy?”

“This!” Sam waved his hand at his brother. “I can’t take it anymore. You’re driving me insane.” He had just his mind to yank his hair just to point how severe this had gotten. When his brother denied not knowing what Sam was referring to. Sam snapped. “Get out. Leave and don’t come back until you bring Cas back because I can’t handle you anymore. I’m tired of you moping around the bunker—failing miserably I might add—to cover up missing Cas.”

“I don’t miss him!” he denied.

“Oh stop it Dean. Its so _obvious_ you do so you can drop the act. I already know. Hell, Heaven and anybody we know for longer than ten minutes knows this fact. Just…” Sam sighed pushing his hair back. “Just go find Cas.”

Lips pressed together Dean stood up heading for his room. Sam almost felt guilty but just remembered all the crap he put up with and squashed it down. Dean came back ten minutes back later with a bag in hand and gave a stern don’t-you-dare-say-anything look at his younger brother. Shooting I’m-only-doing-this-because-you’re-making-me-not-because- _I_ -actually-miss-Cas-alright look, Sam hide his look of approval until Dean had left.

“Thank God,” Sam exhaled in relief. “I thought it would take more to convince my idiotic brother to admit his damn feelings and go find Cas.”

 

* * *

* * *

 

There was a little twinge from his left shoulder but he ignored it. The pain was part of him now and didn’t bother him so much anymore. Staring up with his deep blue eyes, Cas focused on what he need to do. _Act calm. Act natural. You’re bait._

Walking down the empty alley, Castiel had to keep himself together and not tense up as he could feel someone following him. _Just a little bit closer_. The steps picked up pace and Cas had to act nervous and pick up his pace trying to lure the monster closer. When the trashcans crashed, Castiel threw a worried look over his right shoulder seeing the monster’s eyes fill with primal hunger. Gasping that wasn’t entirely faked Cas faced forward and began to run in earnest.

Turning a sharp corner he cursed under his breath when he realized he took a wrong turned and hit a dead end he wasn’t planning on. He heard a gleeful growl behind him that sent a chill down his back. _What was he supposed to do now? He didn’t have any silver on him._ Faced with the werewolf bright eyes stepping closer Castiel stepped back his breath coming out in little puffs when his back hit the wall.

_This was it. The end._ Castiel never thought it would end up like this. Not even human for over a year and his death would be by a werewolf he wasn’t even hunting. The sound of a gun going off made Cas jump as the werewolf howled and collapsed dead.

On the other side stood a female hunter who relaxed her stance before smirking at him. She couldn’t be that old. Barely out of her teens at most with long dark brown hair. “Thank you,” Cas rasped finally pushing himself away from the wall. “I didn’t think a werewolf would come attack me.”

“Well, that’s werewolves for you. Inconsiderate bastards.” She answered before frowning at the dead monster. “Always a pain disposing of the bodies though.”

“I’ll help.” Cas volunteered stepping up to the corpse of the monster that nearly ended his life. “It’s the least I could do for a fellow hunter.”

“You hunt?” she asked a spark in her eyes as she eyed him. “Huh, you don’t look it. But maybe I should’ve realized with the flannel. You remind me of another older hunter. Maybe you’ve heard of him. Dean Winchester.”

Castiel froze not expecting Dean’s name to pop up without warning but he should’ve expected it. He _is_ famous even in the hunter community. He had to remind himself to move and help her with the corpse.

“I’ll take your silence as a yes. I’m Krissy Chambers.” Krissy said once the werewolf was in the trunk of her car. “You are?”

“Castiel.” Cas answered and tried to not notice the twinkle in her eyes of the fact there was no last name given. But what name could he give? He was an angel of the lord. He had no surname. “And… I do know Dean. As well as Sam.”

She just nodded and smiled. “Well I got to dispose of this werewolf. Nice running into another hunter. Do tell Dean I said hi and I’m still taking his advice. Catch you later Castiel.”

“Goodbye,” Cas awkwardly waved as Krissy pulled off. Looking behind him, the ex-angel decided against hunting tonight seeing that he wasn’t going to find it. Crossing the road, Castiel made his way back to his room to stock up on silver and hope he found his monster soon before the end of the week.

* * *

 

When he eventually did find his monster, Castiel finished her off quite easily and got rid of the body without too much difficulty. Rotating his left shoulder to get rid of the small kink he heard a distinctive pop and relaxed. Going back to his room for a quick shower he managed to return to the gas-n-sip for his graveyard shift on time.

Sure there was other ways hunters found to make their money but Castiel returned to his old job when he became human the first time. He was only planning to stay for another week at most before he left and had been glad to have found a temporary job in the meantime. So of course it would be in an old job like this one that Dean would find him.

“What’s a guy gotta do to get some beef jerky and a pack of menthols ‘round here.” Dean grinned just like the last time they met up like this. Only this time it was Castiel who had left the bunker not because Dean said he couldn’t stay. And unlike last time Cas didn’t think his chest ached quite this bad.

“Dean,” he answered with a steady voice even though he felt no such thing. His insides were fluttering and revolting and making him happy and sick at the same time. Another thing that was different was that he had the nametag of Seth. His employer saw no need to make him his own so he just borrowed one.

“Cas… or should I call you Seth now.” Dean raised his brows trying to joke.

“Cas is fine. I am only borrowing this nametag. Is there something I can help you with?” Cas said trying to keep it professional even if his heart leaped to his throat. There was no need to ask Dean how he found him. It was either by GPS or from the hunter he ran into three days ago. “Oh, Krissy Chambers says hi and that she is still taking your advice.”

“Krissy was here?” Dean seemed oddly surprise so Cas took that to mean that the hunter had not told Dean of his location. So GPS it was.

“Yes. I had assume that she told you.” He answered since there was no one else here. There was no excuse for him to really use. “She was here on a werewolf hunt. I found a djinn here as well.” There was a quick look of assess over the ex-angel appearance and when Dean seemed to find no harm on Cas, he relaxed. “I have killed the female djinn if that is what you were wondering.”

There was an unasked question floating between the two. _Did you want to go back to that world?_ Castiel had asked himself that same question when he found out he was tracking a djinn. It would’ve been so easy to let her soothe all his hurt away and pull him in to that comfortable world where Dean waited for him. _Very tempting indeed._ But Cas knew he couldn’t—shouldn’t—because there would be other people dying if he didn’t stop her. Plus he knew the Winchesters would hate him if he died that way. A coward’s death.

“That’s…good Cas.”

“Why are you here?” there was no point in being polite. Cas had left because it had become too painful to watch Dean sleep with other women he picked up at bars. Castiel couldn’t do that anymore and with Sam telling Dean everything about what happened with the djinn he couldn’t face him the same way again. Didn’t want to see the rejection, couldn’t see the pity in his eyes. So he left.

“Sam kicked me out of the bunker. Said I couldn’t come back unless I brought you back.” Cas felt like he got slapped in the face. Leaving the counter he turned his back on the green-eyed man and picked up the broom. Something to distract himself. Anything to create a flimsy barrier from Dean.

“I’ll call Sam to lift his ban if that’s what you want.” He tried to sound neutral and was glad that he could achieve just that small ensemble of control. He picked up his scooper to sweep the dirt inside before heading for the next aisle. _He needs to leave before I fall apart._

“Cas, that’s not…” Dean floundered. The smell of leather and clean soap assaulted the ex-angel’s nose. It was just purely Dean’s scent and he hasn’t had a dose of that in what felt like ages and it seemed to remind Castiel of his time in the djinn’s world causing a longing so profound it nearly knocked him off his feet. He missed _that_ Dean. The one he got to hold and cherish. He didn’t mean to flinch when Dean placed his hand on his left shoulder.

“I am sorry to have wasted your time.” Cas murmured his head downcasted as he abandoned that aisle for the next waiting for the door to ring signaling Dean’s exit.

“I…” Dean swallowed the tightening in his throat. “I’ve missed you, buddy.”

Blue eyes raised up to meet with green in what had become a habit between them. There was a sadness that clung onto Castiel and Dean was an idiot for not noticing it sooner. It was all around him, pulling the ex-angel’s shoulders down and it was in the pinch in his blue eyes. He could almost hear Cas’ low voice speaking even though it was his eyes conveying the message.

_I wish it was enough._

Dean took a deep breath in before exhaling trying to work up the nerve to what he wanted to say. Walking up, Cas tensed but stayed rooted to his spot watching with a small amount of weariness in his eyes. Standing in each other’s personal space, Dean took the broom out of Cas’ grasp setting it aside as Cas’ arms fell useless to his sides.

Castiel took a sharp intake of breath when Dean cupped his face with his hands. Warm, callous hands that he hasn’t felt this close in months making his inside turn into jelly. Blue eyes flicked up, his eyes dilating by just the gentlest touch. “Cas, I missed you. I need you.”

 “Dean… I-.”

“I know. Me too.” Dean answered his green eyes twinkling when Cas’ eyes went wide. _Dean couldn’t have meant that…_ but soft lips against his own changed that. Cas almost wanted to questioned if he really _did_ kill the djinn because this seemed too good to be true. But Dean ended to kiss too soon before it could become something more.

“What do you say we take the long way back home?”

“I still have a shift I need to finish Dean.” Cas managed to sound grounded even though his heart was still fluttering in his chest. Dean just sighed but smiled nonetheless as he ordered coffee and chatted with him until Cas clocked out at six am.


End file.
